BIBLICAL AWKWARD MOMENTS

Borrowed from a joke a friend told me about Abraham, Isaac and the walk home after the sacrifice, here is my list of awkward biblical conversations.

1.      Delilah after the failed attempt to subdue Samson.

Delilah: The hallmark of true love is being able to reveal one’s weaknesses and yet be comfortable with the other person.

Samson: What’s love got to do with it?

2.      Eve and Adam after eating the fruit

Woman: What’s that thing on your groin?

Man: I don’t know, it keeps aiming at your groin. Want to find out why?

3.      Haman just about to hang on the gallows he had prepared for the Jews.

Haman (to the executioner): I MEANT HANG OUT! All Jews should hang out more often. The gallows were just a means of showing the whole town who the Jews so it’d be easier to hang out.

4.      Doubting Thomas after seeing Jesus’ hands and feet

Jesus: Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are the people who have not seen and yet have believed.

Thomas: Still doesn’t beat Peter and the cock’s crows.

5.      Mary Magdalene after the failed stoning attempt.

Jesus: Go, but do not sin again.

Magdalene: Can I just stick with you for some time? Really cannot trust these guys to let this one slip. Plus you might be the only man who won’t get me in this compromising situation again.