Let me call him GM,for now.The lord of this land,hovers with green eyes over this place and has stern words for those who speak of his green-loving deeds.I could care less now that I am moving out,my final middle-finger stance to a wizard that would fit in at Oz.He might have been a clean man once,he did love water so much that he once envisioned parking an ocean for his tenants.But nothing could blind his rage when the tenants did not give him the 5k rent hike.I mean,it is just 5000Kshs."These people get high class real estate for a pittance and cannot fork the same amount that they spend in a weekend outing at the mall."I hear those were the few decent words the caretaker could divulge on his instructions.
What the caretaker could not divulge to the leader of our neighbourly care,we found out the hard way. We were bold for believing that this is not the kind of Kenya where GM could infringe on our rights without a fight.We were smart for rushing to the Rent Tribunal to get an injunction,they ruled against his rushed hike faster than he could say "Two weeks notice."Oh,we went for Christmas overjoyed that the law was on our side.We were foolish for underestimating that GM operated under jungle rules.I mean,you cannot buy class, a heart or manners, no matter how rich one is.
I came home one evening to a crowd gathered at the ground floor, a sight we reserve for parking brawls gone awry. I had not anticipated that it was a neighbourly care meeting. Just then I remembered with shame that I was yet to fork out my 5 sock(500Kshs) for the lawyer fees.As I paid the cash,our neighbourly care head jokingly hinted that we might be visited by the grinch who stole Christmas.
The grinch came in his full green colour,spraying the stench of uncollected garbage along the staircases. We reeked of French baths when he cut off the water and the bulky Christmas stock in fridges began rotting.We were enraged but the grinch was just warming up.On the dying days of December, a father rushed home to an emergency report of vandalism in his home.
The grinch smeared his green bile through the window of a tenant,giving his two children a front row seat to the sewage spill atrocity.We all were foolish to associate oceanic serenity with the name Oceanpark for the apartments when GM had goons who could pollute his ocean...where do you get bucketloads of sewage and how do you ferry it?The caretakers were long gone...
The audacity of GM to rattle the middle-class snake.Someone called someone from a media house.You would think that nationwide TV broadcast, middle-class tongue-lashing all over Twitter handles and a court order would arrest the grinch.Mkscheww!
A week later,all the tenants got the final green spilled at the doorway of the storied apartments. Who needs all this stress in January,it's the third day and we still house last month's problems?We argued with an untouchable fool,the kind that poisons children to model after leaders who infect them with communicable diseases by spilling sewage in fields.The night-blind police cannot sight him by day but likely drink on his bill by night.Bankable truth,they would never be mad enough to be his tenants.You have to be crazy to hammer a mosquito on your skin,unless it is ill-gotten easy come cash.
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